uhh …

guess who was an hour late for work this morning because she overslept.

i’m curious to know exactly how many entries they’ll receive, seeing as they only released the guidelines last week. just as i was nearing the finish, and realizing i was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to go to sleep, i began to get sloppy. made some very bad errors that had me, at one point, running the entire painting under water while i scrubbed away my mistakes. at that frustrating moment, i thought to myself “meh, who needs this!” and considered not entering at all. but i think i knew i would kick myself for not trying after taking it this far. i also considered juicing up with some caffiene and pulling an all nighter, but i remember the last all nighter i pulled and i was completely loopy by noon the next day. so i did what i could, employing a different tactic, then just “going for it”. it still sucked, but it didn’t suck as badly as what i was scrubbing off minutes before. when i finally pulled out the oil for the gramaphone, i worked quickly. in retrospect, i should have made a better effort on that portion. in further retrospect, i should have just did the entire piece in oil [but the way i manipulated the canvas, i knew i would have problems with wet areas while i worked]. all in all, a learning experience. if it IS picked [which i truly doubt], i believe i am allowed time to rework it for post production. dunno. in either case, i can’t see that far ahead. i’ll get as far as dropping it off today, and i’m sure, being called to pick it up monday as one of the pieces not chosen.

tonight is mark’s birthday bash, but i won’t be able to go. happy birthday, mark!

this song came on my ipod while i drove to work today. i’ve had it on repeat ever since:

Henryk Gorecki Symphony No. 3

i’m an emotional mess today. it started yesterday.
very near tears, but not in a depressed way, just more “in tune” way.
seeing the second video above and reading the excerpt, i got all choked up.
while i was painting, the song “Your Long Journey” came on and i just started to cry
and couldn’t stop … it’s the song we associate with Molly May.
it was the song that was playing when tim took her to the vet … her last journey.